Making room for Baby M

It's funny how well people know us, either from real life, this blog, or a combination of the two. When we announced on Facebook that we were pregnant, one of my friends commented that this must mean some more home renovations. Boy did she call it.

The plans for making room for Peanut included the following:
-removing the hideous wet bar in the basement
-capping all the completely unnecessary plumbing that was included with said wet bar
-scraping all the "popcorn" texture that was on the wall in this area (yes you read that correctly)
-repairing the walls, then priming, and finally painting the walls
-finding a suitable floor covering for the bare cement floor that the space the office would occupy
-finally move all the office furniture that is in the office on the 2nd floor down to the basement

There were days that this list would stress me out to no end. It just seemed like so much to do in our limited amount of free time (ie weekends). So we did what anyone in our situation would do. We asked for help. Mainly for the things that we just didn't have the knowledge to do which was the plumbing, and for the things that I just couldn't physically help with, which was the demolition.

We started the project in October with the demolition of the wet bar. To remind you all of the tackiness that was the bar here is a picture:

It's not the best picture, but the only one I have on this computer. It was the mid 1970's at it's best. We never used it. The only one in the house that regularly used this space is in the picture lounging around. So I asked my friend Pam if she could help us with demolition. She used to work for her uncle's construction company before becoming at SAHM, so she gladly came over and showed that bar who was boss.

 Here was what was left after she was finished:

She took out all of the bar that was not tied up with the plumbing. For that we had someone else come in to help. This is just a part of the garbage that we had to haul to the dump.

Then my friend Heather's husband Dave came in to fix one of the light switches that was not working in the basement, and cap all the plumbing for us. He also took out what was left with the bar. Once he was done this is what we were left with:

The mess on the wall is what happens when stupid old owners decide to glue plastic backing for glass shelving on the walls. In short you end up peeling part of the drywall off the wall. Major pain-in-the-ass!

And this is how the space just kind of sat pretty much until December when I decided that if we were going to finish the space the week after Christmas I really should get my butt in gear and scrape off that stupid popcorn texture, and repair the walls. Now for anyone who has read how to remove this texture which is typically on ceilings and not walls, you are suppose to spray with water, let sit for a few minutes then scrape off. Hahahahahahahaha. They make it sound so easy. What they don't tell you is that this does not work some of the time, ie. our basement. In short we were left with a freaking mess. A freaking mess that I spent hours trying to smooth out afterwards. It would have been easier to just have someone come in and re-drywall the space, but honestly, we were on a shoe string reno budget and that just was not going to happen.

So after hours of filling, drying, sanding, filling, drying, sanding, the walls were finally ready to prime and paint. This was a breeze compared to the prep work required. To go with our shoe string budget we opted for Rona's low VOC recycled paint. At about $15/gallon, we honestly couldn't go wrong. Friends of ours had used it and had been happy with their results, so we decided to go for it. They don't have a huge selection of colours, but in the end we're happy with the finished product. So here is the area right after paint:

For the floor we measured and thank goodness the area rug that was currently in our guestroom was just a touch too big, so we rolled the excess carpet along the wall where the desk would go, and voila! We have flooring. The best part is that is was neutral as well, so it all kind of ended up going together really well. We still need to go through the crap that is on those shelves so I can use them for scrap booking materials, but for now, it's okay.

Then came the fun, er, hard part, hauling all the contents from our office which is on the second floor all the way down to the basement. Thankfully Andre is amazing, and quite the trooper and did most of the grunt work. Aside from walking the really light stuff down stairs I really didn't do too much aside from walking up and down stairs.

We still don't have everything down from the office, and are going to need some help to haul the really heavy fire-proof filing cabinet down to the basement, but for now you can see that we have a functioning office at least:

So now at least the hard part is done. Now we can tackle the nursery!

The big update!

Everytime I logged on to Google Reader, or even just went on Facebook for that matter, the thought would run through my head about how it had been a long time since I had blogged. Then I would immediately become distracted, or the thought would just disappear from my head all together (gotta love placenta brain) and then I would go on my merry way again. Then I actually checked when my last entry was yesterday. Wow, it's been a looooong time.

There's been a lot going on, but at the same time not very much to warrant an exciting blog entry you know? Andre and I have been busy with work, and preparing for the holidays, and for little Peanut. The belly continues to get bigger, as does Peanut. She is moving more and more, and is currently having a love affair with my right side. My right ribcage to be exact. Her little head is there as I type. I continue to check my blood sugar multiple times a day, as well as injecting myself with Insulin daily right before bedtime. I'm being monitored very closely, and both Peanut and I are very healthy. As a nice little bonus with the reduced carb diet I have lost around 12-15 pounds. I'm too lazy to actually figure out the exact number. Don't be worried though, I continue to meet with my dietitian (and midwife, and OB, and diabetic nurse, and Endocrinologist...) and along with eating a balanced diet, both Peanut and I are both very healthy.

Preparation for Peanut was pretty much on hold over the month of December. With work, and Christmas shopping, and all that jazz, we were both just too overwhelmed to add one more thing to the mix. This week since both of us were on vacation things have shifted into high gear and preparations have once again begun. Among the necessary minor renovations to free up the smallest spare room to make room for a nursery, we finally purchased the crib, crib mattress, and car seat. Thanks to some very generous family, friends, and clients of mine Peanut also has quite the collection of new and gently used clothes. She will be quite the stylin' little girl! I've also started to purchase a little stash of cloth diapers to try out as well, but I will save this for another post!

As a reward for all of you faithful readers that will read this entry, I will finish off this post with our latest ultrasound picture of Peanut from December 20th at 28wks, and a belly picture of me from December 24th at 28wks.

Oh injections, it's been too long!

I say this clearly with a lot of sarcasm since, well, who misses giving themselves injections? Never in a million years did I think I would be faced with daily injections so soon after having to do the Puregon to get pregnant with Peanut in the first place. Well it seems I just can't stay away. That, or my Pancreas has decided to take a vacation while I'm pregnant!

If you haven't guessed from that little rant it hasn't been going perfectly since I started checking my blood sugar levels. For the most part the Gestational Diabetes Diet has been controlling all the levels following my meals. There were a few random high numbers, but for the most part it's been going well with that. The bane of my existence right now is my fasting blood sugar levels. The level that caused all the problems in the first place. They would not drop the way they should by the time I woke up in the morning. In fact by the time I had the follow up at the Diabetes Clinic 5 out of 7 fasting numbers were high. I knew that my fate was sealed. I was on a one way trip to Insulin town. Thankfully I have a friend who unfortunately had been through this exact same thing before, and she was so great about sharing her experiences with me, so I was a little more calm when I went in for the appointment. (Thanks Megan!)

I was also pleasantly surprised when the Dietitian told me that she was optimistic about my chances of Shared Care. Basically there will be quite the wait to be referred to an OB, and then because they are so busy most of the time in this case they will be fine with sharing me with my Midwife. All the same anyone out there in Blog Land that would be willing to send out some good vibes for me I would appreciate it!

After having to complete a round of Puregon in June, the Insulin needle didn't scare me at all since I'm familiar with the pen-type injections. Now if it was an actual syringe, I would not have been so calm. They scare the crap out of me! So I completed the first injection last night and as expected, my fasting number was exactly where it was suppose to be, so it was worth it in the end.

Now the plan is to continue with the GD diet, regular exercise (thankfully we have a treadmill, because it's cold here in Canada now!) and Insulin. Hopefully the Glucose Intolerance will stay the way it is. Whenever I'm having a down moment I just wait and I can feel Peanut moving around or giving me a nudge and it helps. She's cheering her mommy on.

Hello Blog Land it's me Jenna

And I am a bad blogger.

Even our baby blog has had a serious shortage of blog entries lately. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog about anything. If anything there has been so much on my mind that I have wanted to share, but I wanted to get to a point where I could write calmly and not be a sobbing mess while typing. Ah, hormones!

First of all the good news!! Because everyone loves good news! If you didn't catch this entry on Our Little One then you missed the news about our anatomy scan on October 22nd. We had waited so patiently for this ultrasound, and were rewarded, because the ultrasound tech was able to tell us that our little peanut is a GIRL!!! We are so over the moon now that we know what our little peanut is. It has made everything feel so much more real now. Even my grandmother who was a staunch "it has to be a surprise" follower, totally caved and wanted to know. Now she is planning a ton of sewing projects, and even brought wool over for me to look at because she wants to make our little peanut a sweater and some other things to wear home from the hospital.

And since I can't resist showing off how beautiful our little peanut is, here she is almost half baked at this point!

Now onto the bad news. My PCOS is back messing up everything again. If you have PCOS, then you know that you are at a higher risk of developing Gestational Diabetes. It's not a big surprise, so I knew that at some point I would have to do the Glucose Tolerance Test. Otherwise known as the test where you chug Orange Crush for breakfast. Not as fun as you might think. In Canada you can either do the one hour GTT, and then if you fail (one of your blood sugar levels is high) you have to complete a two hour GTT, or just do the two hour test. I talked to my midwife, and she informed me that because of my increased risk I would have to do this extremely fun test twice. Once ASAP, at the 19wk mark, then again at a later date.

So I went to do the test. First they take your blood to test your fasting blood sugar. Then you drink "the drink".  The drink wasn't as horrible as everyone says, it was carbonated, cold and the consistency of regular pop (or soda for all of you in the States). The only gross thing was chugging it down at 8am. Then after one hour you have your blood taken, then after yet another hour you have your blood taken again. Basically after this test, no news is good news.

The Monday following the great news about our Peanut, I got a phone call from my secondary Midwife Shannon. I knew why she was calling. One of my numbers was elevated. This doesn't mean a diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, but I am now labelled at "Glucose Intolerant". Not as serious, but it means that something is up. So I was given a date to attend the Gestational Diabetes Class, and a date to visit with the dietitian a week after the class to evaluate my blood sugar levels, and how my diet has been.

This news devastated me. I got off the phone and started crying. Not like little tears, but all out sobbing. This news meant that I was only two steps away from the possibility of being on Insulin. Insulin=No Midwife. Insulin during pregnancy is a one way trip to a OB. I never wanted an OB delivery. I just felt like once again my body was failing me. First failing me during the whole TTC process, turning something that is suppose to be natural into a science experiment. Now my body was failing me again, and I could end up with they type of delivery that I didn't want. Nothing was going my way.

This feeling hasn't completely gone away, and now after attending the Gestational Diabetes Class this morning I am unsure about how I feel about everything. I guess I can only take it one day at a time, and see what happens.

Cloth Diaper Confusion

I've been trying to avoid bombarding all of you readers with all things baby-related, but this has been and will always be my place to ramble about all things, so for all of you that are not interested, you can just skip over any post that is just too "baby" for you. After all, this is about Mr and Mrs M, and really little peanut is forefront in our brains all the time!

I've always been intrigued with the idea of cloth diapering, long before we were actually pregnant. I liked the idea of saving tons of garbage sitting in a landfill for hundreds of years, and saving our bank accounts hundreds of dollars (on average about $1000-1500) over the diapering life of our little peanut. After all if my mother could cloth diaper two of her three daughters with old-school prefolds and diaper pins, and a ringer washing machine, then with all the almost high-tech by comparison cloth diapers now I was sure to be able to manage right? Not to mention, I own a modern washing machine, so I can dump the laundry and go!

There are just so many options out there! And although we will be saving ourselves a ton over the course of a couple years, we will have to put out a large chunk of change as an investment in order to be able to make this venture work! I also wanted something user-friendly if you will so Andre will have no excuses about not changing a diaper. I quickly figured out that this involved some research. Thankfully I have friends both in real life and online that have been cloth diapering their little one's so I have been asking questions, and visiting websites that they have suggested. I've also been doing comparison shopping, trying to find the cheapest price on my favourite cloth diaper so far, BumGenius.

I have also been researching cloth diaper samplers, basically a collection of whatever type of cloth diaper you have chosen, in different brands so you can choose what diaper works best for you and your little one. The best part is that I've found a company that is Canadian (yeah!) and only about 45 minutes away that offers this, so I have bookmarked their site to save for this spring. Who knew that finding something to cover a baby's bottom would be so confusing!

Good-Bye Summer...

...hello Fall!

Otherwise known as my favourite season of the entire year. There's just something about having to break out the sweaters, and jackets, the freshness in the air, and the rich colours all around. I love getting out the cozy blankets that can be snuggled under in the evenings, and warm duvets to curl up under all night.

Just this week I brought out a spicy vanilla candle and let the whole house smell super yummy. Today on the agenda was breaking out the duvet for the winter. I think it will still be a little too early for me at least since peanut seems to be keeping me fairly warm while sleeping at night. I'm sure Andre will appreciate the extra warmth though.

We're getting ready for Thanksgiving around here as well. Last year Andre and I were holiday-dinner-hosting-dynamos after hosting Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, but this year Thanksgiving will be the extent of our hosting duties. I'm not a fan of hosting Christmas dinner, and will never do this again, and I will be too busy with a newborn to host Easter dinner this year. My mom has agreed to take over the hosting reins once again for these holidays. We also got news that we will be having house guests this fall! My friend Laura and her little girl joined us for a few days this summer, and she asked if we would be willing to offer them our guestroom for a few days again this fall. We're looking forward to it!

We've also been busy researching and planning all the things that will need to be purchased for our little peanut! For updates on all things baby related you can visit our baby blog at: http://ourlittleonemcg.blogspot.com/

The Journey

I don't know why I was reminded of this yesterday while at work of all places. But I was and figured maybe I thought about it because I was meant to write about it and share it with someone out there who needs to hear it. Who knows, it could just be the hormones talking!

So when Andre and I were going through treatments I all but stopped going to church. I couldn't do it. Couldn't handle seeing all the families. All the new babies. All the families that were blessed, when I thought that somehow God had it out for Andre and I. Going through Infertility is hard. It tests your faith, your marriage, the very core of everything you thought you ever wanted out of life. Needless to say church was too hard. For some during the hard times they are drawn to church, for me, I feel pushed away.

Since finding out we were blessed with this incredible miracle, (Yes, even though we used modern technology to get pregnant, it makes it no less of a miracle for happening.) we have slowly started going back to church. Some days are really easy, others a little harder.

In our church the ministers usually take the whole month of July off for vacation. We went a few times in July, then we went back again the first Sunday the ministerial team (a husband and wife) were back from vacation. I honestly believe that I was meant to be in church that day, to hear the children's story of all things. That Sunday there was not one child in the place. Go figure, they didn't want to be sweating in church! The minister still did the children's story. He said it was for "the big kids".

Him and his wife had gone to Southampton that year to go cottaging. He showed a picture on the big screen of his wife standing near a beach fence with an expanse of sand and water behind her. He talked about how the sand was so hot that year. How when you walked over the sand to get to the water you kind of bounced from foot to burning foot, kind of howling. All the while getting closer and closer to the nice, cool water. He talked about that journey to the water. How painful and long it seemed in that moment, but how once you got to the water, it didn't seem to matter. In fact, once you got there you would totally do it again in a second. In the end, it didn't matter how hard and painful the journey was, it was always worth it in the end.

The tears started. I couldn't help it. Hell, now that I'm typing it out the tears are coming again! I couldn't help but think of every failed cycle. Every follie check when the tech would tell me how none of my follies were growing. I thought of every needle during that last cycle, along with all those follie checks at the beginning when nothing was happening but I was told to keep going.

Then I thought of the day when we finally had one little follie. It was freaking amazing. I then thought about that morning when I saw those fainter than faint lines, then the next morning when I saw those words that I had been dying to see.

In the end yes, our journey was hard. I know that there are some out there that have gone, and are going through worse. But don't lose faith, even though it is so easy to lose faith. Yes the journey is hard, but the end, the end is worth it.

Chicken Enchiladas

I work in a chiropractic office. The owner of the clinic and her husband have quite the vegetable garden every summer. Much more food than the two of them could possibly eat, so she brings in baskets of veggies for us and the patients to take home. I just happened to pick out a green, orange, and jalapeno pepper, and decided that was a perfect excuse to make up some Chicken Enchiladas for dinner.

We got this recipe from a Milk Calendar about five million years ago and it's one of Andre's favourites. Who knows, maybe it will become one of yours?

Chicken Enchiladas:

Ingredients

1 onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 chicken breasts, cut into cubes
1 green pepper, chopped
1 red (or orange pepper), chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped (optional)

Note: If using jalapenos, please be careful and use gloves when chopping to avoid having oils on your hands and then touching your face. Trust me I have done this, it HURTS.
1 cup salsa
1/2 cup water
1 tsp cumin
1/2 cup shredded low fat mozzarella cheese, shredded
Whole Wheat tortillas (about 5-8)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place chopped onion and garlic in skillet over medium heat.  Cook until golden.

Add chicken and cook for 3-4 minutes.

Add peppers, salsa, water, and cumin. Continue to cook over medium heat until most of the liquid has evaporated. About 15 minutes.

Fill tortillas with meat and veggie mixture, and a little bit of cheese. Roll. Place in 9 x 13 pan.

You are suppose to have some liquid left in the end of all of this to pour over enchiladas. I never have. Usually I just sprinkle the stray veggie mixture over, then add some extra salsa, then sprinkle with a little more cheese.

Bake for 30 minutes.

Serve with Mexican rice and salad, or side of your choice. If you're a tired pregnant woman like me just throw an enchilada on a plate and eat.

Resort Review

Okay, so I have some very strong opinions on the resort that we stayed at while in Aruba. Let me start by saying that this was our second trip to Aruba. We love Aruba. We love Aruba because it is out of the hurricane belt, the weather is always spectacular, you can drink the water right out of the tap!, it's so safe you could hop on the city bus right outside your resort and go shopping downtown, these are just a few of the reasons off the top of my head.

The first time we visited Aruba was almost 3 years ago. It was for our honeymoon and we stayed at the Riu Palace Aruba. Over the last three years we had met many other people that have been to Aruba and love it as much as we do. A number of these people have stayed at the Holiday Inn Sunspree. Some of these people will only travel to Aruba after visiting many other tropical destinations and when in Aruba will only stay at the Holiday Inn. We thought if these people will stay at this place every year then it has to be good right? Well, partially. The Holiday Inn was much more reasonable than the Riu, so we thought we would go for it, and stay at the Holiday Inn.

Throughout my review you will find me compare the Holiday Inn to the Riu. This would be because this is the only other resort in Aruba we have stayed at to compare it.

Flight: Different carrier this time. The first trip we flew with Sunquest. This time our flight was through Canjet. What can you say? It's a long flight, between 4.5-5hrs each way. The food was better with Sunquest. The flight attendants were a little nicer with Sunquest too. Flight was on time going to Aruba, and was delayed over an hour for our flight home. This happened three years ago too.

Shuttle to Resort: AMAZING! We were in our shuttle bus to the resort literally within 30 minutes of the plane landing on the island. It was great. No complaints here.

Shuttle from resort to airport: DISASTER. It was chaos in the lobby, luggage and people everywhere, and it seemed very unorganized. To avoid the craziness we paid $25 for a taxi to the airport. I think it was money well spent, Andre complained about spending the money.

Check In: Organized. Above the desk there were labels organized via alphabet to tell you where to line up. We lined up and got our little booklet. Our key wasn't ready, so we went to have lunch, and came back an hour later to pick up our key.

Our room: We requested a king sized bed and instead got two doubles. I wasn't terribly surprised. I really wanted a bigger bed than at home, but we're used to a double, so it was not biggie. The room was clean and had a fridge to store our snacks and water, and satellite tv. We also had a balcony with two chairs and a little table.
My biggest complaint with our room was the proximity to the elevators. There was only one room that separated us from the main elevator. We would hear this elevator all night, every night. If it wasn't for me not wanting to pack up everything, I would have demanded they switch our room. Looking back, packing up our stuff would have been totally worth a good night's sleep. Live and learn.

The food: Hmmm, I think I'll start with breakfast. Breakfast was good. They had everything from fruit and cereal, to juice and eggs. They had everyone covered for breakfast. The one issue is that the island does not have skim milk. Their idea of "light" milk is 2%, I did not drink a drop of milk the entire week because of this.
Lunch-It was okay. They always had to meat choices. A fish (all was good except for the Mahi Mahi, way too fishy tasting for me), and a meat. The only time they had chicken was when they had chicken legs. I have not eaten chicken legs since I was five. I don't like dark meat. Otherwise they were always serving beef or pork. Only one day did they have turkey breast. There was always a rice or potato and veggie, and pasta and kiddie options as well.
Dinner-SUCKED!! I don't know whether it was the selection (or lack thereof), the cuts of meat, or what, but it was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Everyone that we talked to felt the same way.

The A la Carte Restaurants: The reservation desk opened at 8am, we never had a problem making a reservation for either the Cafe Di Vinci (Italian) restaurant, or the Seabreeze (outdoor grill) restaurant. Cafe Di Vinci was horrible. Service was slow, and the food just horrible. Andre's chicken was overcooked and tough, my lasagna was 1/2 cheese, and too rich to finish.
The Seabreeze was wonderful. The ambiance was wonderful sitting overlooking the beach and sunset. The food was always great, and the service good. We ate here three nights.

Hut Reservation: The towel hut opened at 7am. Andre would be in line every morning by 7:15 with our towel card to get fresh towels and reserve our hut. I love how this resort reserves huts. There is a board with a map of all the numbered huts. You pick a hut based on location (or availability) and they put your room number beside the hut number. It was so great to get a hut everyday. We also had the same hut, which was close to our room. I think this is the fairest way to get a hut.

The Pools: Honestly we didn't spend much time at the pools. The resort was crawling with families, and we just aren't ready to have to deal with cranky, hyper children yet, so we stuck to the beach for the week. From what we did see though during our travels during the day was that the pools were small, but there seemed to be enough loungers, and and adequate amount of shade available. The huts around the pool were first come, first serve. There were two pools, one for the kids, one for the adults. Every time we went by the pool, the adult pool was crawling with kids.

The Beach: Tons of huts, beautiful sand, beautiful cool water. It was great. It was our home the week we were there. The hut reservation process was super easy and organized, so we always had shade while we were on the beach making my stay that much more comfortable (Andre says "Thank GOD!!!"). There were always plenty of loungers available as well.

Evening Entertainment: Crappity, crap, or non-existent.

Casino: Didn't go.

Miscellaneous Complaints/Comments: There was no bottled water supplied with the rooms. When we visited the front desk she told me this was because you could drink the water right out of the tap. Well that's great, but because the water lines don't run that deep, the cold water from the tap is luke-warm. Ewww. Thankfully we had brought our Clean Kanteen's from home, but you would've had to buy bottled water otherwise. We bought a litre bottle of local bottled water, and between the three containers always had cold water available for the two of us.

Overall Opinion: Andre says that he would stay at the Holiday Inn Sunspree again in a second. I'm undecided. I think that if you're going to pay the price to stay at an All-Inclusive resort you shouldn't have to eat off the resort (like we did one night) to avoid the shitty dinner buffet. The buffet is included with the price, and as such you should be able to enjoy it. We weren't the only guests that felt this way. The beach is awesome though, much better than the Riu, and more expansive than most of the other resorts that we walked past.

So there you have it. My review of Aruba!

Summer Vacation 2010

AKA Babymoon 2010 has come and gone.

We left on Monday July 26th and returned very late on Monday August 2nd. It was great to get away, but like I have told a lot of my friends this vacation will be my first and last during the first trimester of any pregnancy. We booked this vacation before we got our fabulous BFP, and the dreaded morning sickness really didn't start to kick in until the week before we left. The Thursday before our departure was a horrible day m/s wise. I ended up calling in sick to work because I had a huge bout of nausea and heaving and being a massage therapist, I just cannot physically do my job if I'm running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. It's just not going to happen.

After a call to Mother Risk (an absolutely AMAZING resource for pregnant Canadian women out there) I had some very practical advice to help with how I was feeling, and I had been told that I could take Ginger Gravol up to a maxium of twice daily to help with the nausea that I was feeling. I rested for the rest of the day Thursday, and then woke up Friday feeling well, just as shitty as I did the previous day, if not a little bit worse. I made a quick call into my RE's office, talked to the receptionist, and the angel that she is, got the dr to call in a prescription of Diclectin. This has proven to be invaluable. The only problem was the for about the first week of taking it I was pretty much a zombie. Thank goodness I was on vacation and I could sleep the hangover feeling off in the mornings.

So armed with my Diclectin we headed off to sunny Aruba. Now let me start by saying that it was a great vacation. I mean how can you not have an amazing time when your job is to sit on the white sand beaches looking out over a turquoise sea? The only issue was timing. Let's face it, if you wake up feeling like ass every morning, and your day is ruled by the accessibility to washrooms, keeping hydrated, eating snacks every 1-2 hours, and keeping cool, so you don't overheat and feel even crappier, it kind of takes the fun out of the day sometimes. I think if we had planned this same vacation during my second trimester, it just would've been better. Normally we wouldn't care so much about how long our excursions were. This time I would only be gone for about 4-6 hours. That is about how much fluids and snacks we could bring with us.

Even though Andre was amazing and got up early every morning to secure a hut close to our hotel room, that shelter sometimes just wasn't enough, and two afternoons I had to come back to our room to cool off and rehydrate. I felt so bad leaving Andre by himself on the beach, but really there was nothing I could do. I couldn't risk over heating and getting dehydrated.

In the end hindsight is always 20/20. I will recommend to anyone out there who is pregnant, or TTC, wait until you are out of your first trimester before planning a big vacation. When spending a crap load of your hard earned cash, you want to enjoy yourself 100% of the time, not just 60% of the time. If you wait out those first few months, you'll have a better idea of how you feel, and what you're comfortable doing throughout the day.

I will end this blog entry with some pictures of Andre and I from sunny Aruba.

Entering our resort

Me (and peanut) on the beach!

Andre on the beach.

The beach to our right from our hut.

A stunning Arubian sunset.

Andre and I at the Beach

Mean to Green (er)

Did you think that I had forgotten with all this baby-talk over the last little while? No, just well, lazy. Sitting on the couch cuddled with Andre or going for a walk when the heat has finally lifted in the evenings is just a little more appealing right now!

I did decide while I was reading some of my favourite blogs that I should really log on and give you all something. I have been thinking of doing this post for a long time now!

So without further ado (be forewarned it's a dirty subject).....TOILET PAPER! This is something that everyone buys, unless of course you are one of those really crunchy-granola types that doesn't in which case, I honestly don't know what to say.

We were addicted to the Kirkland brand for the longest time. You know the big, mega pack from Costco that would last a small family say, 6 months! The problem was that it had a TON of packaging, was not recycled, and I'm not too sure on the status of whether it was biodegradable. So we needed to switch!

Oh you should have heard Andre complain in the middle of No Frills when I told him we needed to switch to a more greener choice for bum wipe. He was not happy. Switching his toilet paper was crossing the line apparently. He must have a sensitive heiney. The first brand that we tried was President's Choice Green Bathroom Tissue.

The reason behind this purchase was that we love President's Choice Products. We have switched from name brand to their brand on many occasions and took for granted that this one would be a winner. We were wrong. It promised to be made from 100% Post Consumer recycled paper, and that it is biodegradable. I have no doubt in my mind that it is both of those things, but in a word, this stuff is CRAP.

Considering this stuff is suppose to be a double roll, the rolls are painfully thin. It claims to be 2-ply. Oh.My.Goodness. If this is suppose to be 2-ply, I do not want to know what 1-ply is.

In short, I am sad to say, do not waste your money on this product.

Now after our horrible adventure in green (er) toilet paper, Andre was none too happy that I wanted to try yet another brand. I had a friend mention the Cascades Brand of products. I knew that they sold their "enviro" line of products at Costco, and we just happened to be on our way there for a shopping trip. Andre was not happy to have to try another product that he was sure was going to disappoint, so I told him that all the trees were saying "Thank you Andre!!" for his purchase. He rolled his eyes and threw the huge package in the cart.

                                                    

Now this brand promises on it's website to be made of  100% recycled fibres, be made with 80% less water than the industry standard, is dried using natural gas, and bleached without chlorine. Wow, impressive! You want to know the best part?

It's actually good stuff! It's much thicker than the PC Brand, as well as softer, and stronger. We've found ourselves a winner people!

Beta #2

Was a success! I was very nervous simply because I had nothing to go by since we didn't have anything but a "You're Pregnant!" after the first beta. My HCG is 568.9, and my Progesterone level was 45. Both of these numbers were "within the normal ranges" as per the nurse at the clinic. I am to continue taking progesterone supps for the entire first trimester as well.

The best news is that we got the date for our first u/s! It is Tuesday July 20th! There are no words to describe how much I am looking forward to seeing the little "bean" on the screen and maybe see the heartbeat. I am going to try my best to get a picture to share with you all as well. We'll see how co-operative the u/s Tech is that day!

In other news Andre and I have started another blog devoted entirely to Baby M! This blog was created as a place for my random musings, and because of that my immediate family did not know about it. We decided that it would be best to create a new space that we could share with our immediate family and close friends for the time being, and then when it's time to announce Baby M to the rest of the world we can share with our family and friends that we unfortunately don't get to see on a regular basis. I will continue to do updates here as well, but for more in depth baby news check out Our Little One.

Stressful day, but a good ending

In my last blog post I was talking about how I have been on progesterone suppositories, but was going to run out before the weekend was over. The office in their letter to me had mentioned if this was the case, to call, and leave a message even though they wouldn't be in the office and someone would call in the prescription to the pharmacy they deal with. Well yesterday I called and left a message telling them I did need a refill.
I called the pharmacy around 11am, and no one had called in the progesterone yet. So I waited until the afternoon. At 2pm the pharmacy still hadn't received the order yet. So I waited some more. The entire time getting angrier and angrier, and more and more frustrated. I immediately went online to get some advice. After coming across someone on a message board that is a patient at the same clinic as I am (what are the chances?) she suggested calling up the pharmacy again. I called him up and explained the situation, and he agreed to give me a few to get through the weekend.
::Insert sigh of relief here::
I was so stressed out that missing the progesterone was going to cause a miscarriage. Man my imagination was not my friend today! In the end I came home with enough medication to get me through the weekend, and a little surprise.
Andre had been out, and knew how stressed out I was, so he bought me a bouquet of mini pink carnations. They were sitting in a vase in the diningroom when I got home this afternoon. He's such a sweetie. I think I'll keep him!

I have a confession to make

This is what I saw at 5am yesterday morning. I caved. I had to test before my beta. This test was not actually the first test. My first test was Wednesday morning. Where I got the faintest lines in the history of the world. Here I am at 8am (after analyzing the internet cheapie tests for a full hour) waving the sticks in front of Andre.

Me: Andre do you see two lines?

Andre: Ummm (looking at them closely with squinted eyes) no. Well what colour are they suppose to be?

Me: Pink

Andre: Well, there are two lines, but one of them is really light.

Ah, no romantic surprises in our house.

I tested with the digital at 5am on Thursday morning. I took the picture, then left the test on the counter for Andre to see and then went back to bed to try and get some sleep. At a more respectable 7:30, Andre cheered, and we hugged, and got ready to go to the clinic for my Beta.

We both waited very impatiently all day, Andre at home, and me at work for the results and finally around 3pm between clients Andre called and told me that the nurse had just dropped off a letter and her congratulations off at the house because they couldn't reach us via phone. For now the plan is to continue taking the progesterone suppositories, and go in again Tuesday morning for a repeat beta, where hopefully the numbers will have continued to rise by the appropriate amounts.

So please continue to send your rising number and sticky baby vibes my way if you can!

For those of you that know me IRL, and have me on FB, you know the drill, please don't mention anything!

I am slowly going crazy.....

I figure I should be ready for a white padded room by the end of next week. I am over analyzing every single twinge, feeling, everything. To make matters worse I am on Progesterone suppositories. Progesterone makes me crazy. I am overly emotional and snap at the drop of a hat.

Just yesterday I was at work and a patient came in the office that used to work with Andre. He has a 20 year old son. His son would not work, would not go to college/university, drank himself silly 99% of the time, and to make matters worse, liked to dabble in drugs. The patient came in to announce that he was a grandfather (complete with pictures). Said son's girlfriend gave birth to a baby girl. I'm usually very good at holding it together, but yesterday it took all I had to hold it together until I could leave the reception area. Life isn't fair. Why does God see fit to bless them with a baby, while Andre and I are going through hell for the chance to have one?

Today I'm not much better. My clinic called me this morning to tell me when I have to come in for my pregnancy test (blood test). I have to come in Thursday July 1st. I'm happy that they finally called to tell me when to come in, but first of all they only open at 9 and I have to be at the other end of the city by 10 for work. I'll be cutting it close. As well I will only be 12dpiui by that point. I'm nervous about the test being too early. Needless to say I will not be testing with a home test before going in. I guess I will have to warn Andre to let the clinic leave a message on the answering machine so we can listen to it together when I get home from work. I just can't listen to it at work. If it's bad news I know I will be a mess.

I have been so optimistic the last few days, but today, I am just a heap of pessimistic emotions. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

My saving grace this weekend is the fact that we will be having house guests this weekend! My wonderful friend Laura is coming into town with her little girl! I haven't seen Laura in about a year, and have yet to meet her little girl. It will be wonderful to have her visit, and it will be a nice distraction for me.

In the meantime any positive thoughts that can be sent my way would be greatly appreciated!

Now we wait

My first (hopefully my last for a couple years) 2ww ever commences today! I don't know what I'm going to do with myself over the next two weeks with only two visits to the clinic scheduled for that time.

Everything went fabulous this morning. We were up bright and early this morning, so early in fact that the sun was just beginning to rise over the roofs across the street. Way too early for a Saturday morning! We dropped off the sample at the office then came home and had some breakfast. Then headed back down to the clinic for the actual IUI. They took us right away, and I'm so proud of Andre he actually sat in the room with me, he did hold his newspaper over his face for the entire procedure though.

To quote Andre: "Jenna as soon as I saw him bring out that speculum, I was freaked out!"

His post wash count was excellent at 33 million, so both the RE and Andre were very happy. The whole procedure took less than five minutes, and honestly was more comfortable than my last pap test. I just closed my eyes and told God it was up to him now. It's out of our hands now, we just have to wait and see. We were home shortly after 9 and then I immediately told Andre I needed a nap so I went upstairs and slept for over two hours.

I know in our hearts we both  so desperately want this to be it for us, but don't want to say it out loud, in case we're disappointed. So for all of you out there if you could send any thoughts or prayers our way we would really appreciate it. And for those of you that have been wishing us luck and have been so supportive over the last few months, you will never know how much it has meant, thank you.

My last needle?

Hopefully for a very long time!

I had yet another follie check this morning. The dildo cam and me are on a first name basis. My little follie-that-could had grown to 19mm. For those of you that have been reading this blog, can you tell me what that meant?

Ding, Ding, Ding! You're right, it's finally mature!!

After three long months on Clomid and 10 days of jabbing myself in the stomach I was actually going to ovulate! I went in to meet with Dr. C after I had my b/w and u/s and he looked over my results and high fived me.  He then got very serious and told me that he recommended we do an IUI. It didn't mean that we had to do one, just that it had taken us a long time to get to this point, and he wanted to give it all we could.

Luckily I knew that this was going to happen and Andre and I had already had this talk the night before. I told Dr. C that we had discussed it and wanted to do everything that we could within our power to make this work. He told me that I made his job so much easier, and told me I was to get an HCG trigger shot (an injection that triggers ovulation) before I left, and give myself one last stab with the Puregon tonight and then would tell us whether we should head in Saturday or Sunday for the IUI. We got the call and bright and early tomorrow morning we will be heading down to the clinic so I can get knocked the hell up! (Well hopefully)

For those of you out there that are unfamiliar with what an IUI is, you can visit this website for an explanation. Normally I would write one out, but it's 11pm and I am bushed from all the craziness today. Wish Andre and I luck tomorrow, and the next time you hear from me I will be in the 2ww!

One of those meant-to-be meetings

Now I am a massage therapist, so I meet a lot of people. Well today I had a new client. I was not particularly looking forward to meeting this person simply because she was a new mom....of twins. I just didn't know if I was ready to spend a prolonged period time locked in a room with a new mom of twins. Especially after the day that I had yesterday.

Well she ended up being a very nice woman, and those twins; those twins were IVF babies. I don't know how it came up, but she mentioned it. Those twins weren't just IVF babies either, they were FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) babies. Their very last frozen embryos after a number of unsuccessful (fresh) cycles. Instantly I liked this woman more. I then told her that my husband and I were patients at the local fertility clinic (there are three within a 40 minute radius). We started talking and it was so wonderful to talk to someone who had been through hell and back but had two beautiful little babies to show for it.

It gave me hope. Gave me just a little bit of strength that I so desperately needed this week. Just because it doesn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't work. Andre and I will be parents one day. We just have to be patient, that and possibly win the lottery, that wouldn't hurt either!!

I don't know what to think anymore

Today is not such a great day. I had my second follie check since starting the Puregon. Today was the second time there has been no response. My follies are still "very small" as the tech puts it. Remember how I said that a mature follicle is around 20 (give or take a few mm)? Well my office will only give us the measurement after it has reached 10mm, and they haven't told me any measurements (ever). Even the tech this morning was trying so hard to find something with that dammed dildo cam. She looked at me and said "I wish I had some good news for you." So here I am after 5 days of stabbing myself in the abdomen and nothing to show for it. I have to do in yet again on Wednesday morning. I know I should be optimistic, but at this moment, I feel nothing, expect nothing.

I was so full of faith and hope just a few days ago. Today, not so much. I feel defeated. At this moment I have no hope. Four months, four different meds, and nothing to show for it except less money in our bank account. This is the eighth month that we have been TTC. Not once in those eight months have we had one shot. Not one freaking chance at getting pregnant.

I know I'm suppose to have faith that God has a plan for us. That there is a reason that all of this is happening, but I can't think of one. I haven't been to church in weeks. I just can't bring myself to go and see all the families. All the babies. It hurts my heart too much. My mom will come home and tell me about how so-and-so just had a baby, how this person asked where I've been. I just sit there numb and just nod my head, I just don't care. I just don't have enough in me to care right now.

I hope tomorrow will be better. I hope tomorrow I can smile at someone and mean it.

Gold star for me!

I got back into the groove today, and got my butt back on the treadmill. I had been doing so well since March, getting onto the treadmill at least three times a week even when sleeping in was waaaaaay more appealing. Then I got sick. Not just the sniffles, but up all night unable to breathe for 2 nights followed by up all night for 2 more nights because of coughing, sick. Then my asthma got involved. So it was no treadmill for me until I could get the asthma under control.

It's been a week of an increased dose of my inhalers and I finally felt like I was up to getting back on there. I still can't push myself (ie jog as long or as fast as I was doing), but I still managed to get on there, and now I feel much better about myself. The best surprise came when I weighed myself this morning. This I had not done since a few days before I got sick, so it had been 19 days. EEEEEEEK! I was so nervous.

But lo and behold I had lost .8kg since last time! I was shocked! I had noticed a decrease in my appetite lately, which I attributed to well feeling like shit and not wanting to eat, and being on Metformin for just over 3 months, and it's normal to feel a decrease in appetite on Metformin. So then I calculated my total weight loss since I started this whole exercising thing: -4.7kg. Which doesn't sound nearly as impressive as -10.3lbs!!

This makes me so happy because 10lbs was my first official goal in my head. I don't actually set goals since I am a self sabotager (is that even a word?) and would find some way to ruin it for myself, so I kept this goal to myself and I achieved it! I told Andre over breakfast this morning that I should give myself a gold star!

The Cost of Fertility Treatments

The one thing that worried me when I realized a long time ago that a very real possibility for us would be fertility treatments was the cost of it all. Yes we have money in the bank, yes we own our own home and work full time, but we're far from wealthy. We don't have tens of thousands of dollars sitting in the bank, and let's face it whenever someone mentions those words "fertility treatments" the first thing that pops into your mind are dollar signs, and visions of the Gosselins and Octomom, but that's another blog entry all together.

So for all of you out that are reading this and wondering, whether it be because fertility treatments could or are a reality for you, or it's just out of morbid curiosity, here is the real cost of fertility treatments. Or at least the cost that we have incurred over the last three cycles. Now keep in mind that I am still in the midst of my third cycle, and we do not know yet whether I am going to need a trigger shot to enduce ovulation, or whether we will be able to do timed intercourse, or if IUI is recommended. These variables will change the final total.

Now I will colour code each cycle so you have an idea of the cost that way. I will also start out with some diagnostic costs that we had to pay for, as well as the general medication that I had to take as a result of my PCOS diagnosis. Because I also have IBS, combined with the nasty Metformin side effects, my RE recommended a prescription prenatal vitamin with 5mg of Folic Acid because I was at a higher risk of malabsorption, that cost is included as well.

For those of you that are our neighbours to the South, you will notice I do not include the cost of my monthly monitoring, additional testing (ie. HSG), or bills for RE visits. This is because our Provincial Health Care plan (OHIP) covers all of these expenses. I honestly do not think our journey thus far would have been possible without these expenses being covered for us. For that I am truly grateful to live in Canada. We are also lucky that Andre's work insurance covers some of my medication that is not infertility related, so that helps greatly as well.

So with all that babbling here we go our Out of Pocket (OOP) Expenses:

Semen Analysis: (none covered by private insurance) $125.00
Diagnostic blood work (both) and ultrasound (me): OHIP
Metformin-3 month supply, 1000mg/day: (total:$130.44) After Insurance:$41.70
PregVit Folic 5-3 month supply of prenatals: (total: $121.46) After Insurance: $39.13
Total: ($376.90 without private insurance) After Insurance: $205.83
Cycle 1:
Provera (10mg/day for 10 days): (total $15.48) After Insurance: $8.48
Clomid 50mg (5 days): $45.45
All monitoring b/w and u/s: Free
Total Cycle 1: (without insurance: $60.93) After Insurance: $53.93
Cycle 2:
Provera (10mg/day for 10 days): (total $15. 48) After Insurance: $8.48
Clomid 100mg (5 days): $78.91
All monitoring b/w and u/s: Free
Total Cycle 2: (without insurance: $94.39) After Insurance: $87.39
Cycle 3:
Provera (10mg/day for 10 days): (total $15.48) After Insurance: $8.48
Clomid 150mg (5 days): $112.39
HSG (diagnostic test): Free
Puregon 300iu: $335.00
(may be subject to additional costs)
All monitoring b/w and u/s: Free
Total Cycle 3: (Without Insurance: $462.87) After Insurance: $455.87

Total OOP Expenses Cycle 1-3: $803.07

Ovaries meet Puregon

I had my latest follie check this morning. It was just as I suspected, no response. This time I wasn't upset, I expected it. I know that I should never go into a cycle expecting failure, but I needed to to protect myself. There was that glimmer of optimism with the first check, but this one I just wanted it to be over, be done with Clomid.

The ultrasound technician tried really hard, and by hard, I mean she warned me it would hurt (and it did). She really wanted to make sure that she didn't overlook anything. But there was nothing there to overlook. Now don't get me wrong, there are follicles, but they are much too small. Like I mentioned before a mature follicle needs to be around 20mm, and mine were all under 10, on the 14th day of my cycle. The tech told me to talk to Dr C if I had time this morning so after getting my b/w done I waited to talk to him.

The first words out of his mouth when reviewing the results were "no response" the words I'm so used to hearing. He gave me two options for going forward: 1) wait another 3-4 days then come back for a follow up u/s and b/w to see if Clomid was going to do anything at all OR 2) move right on to injectable medications. For me it was a no brainer. I told him I didn't feel that 3-4 days would make any difference in my response. I wanted to move onto injectables. He agreed.

So this evening armed with the Puregon website on my laptop, and Andre by my side I got over my lifelong phobia of needles, and injected myself. Oh.my.goodness! I can't believe I was actually able to do it. I am so proud of myself! The plan now is to inject myself with 35iu (international units) of Puregon (which is FSH-Follicle Stimulating Hormone), each night for three nights, and then have a follow up exam on Saturday morning.

I think the only way to describe how I feel is excited! Aside from our first Clomid cycle, I feel hope. I feel like we have a shot. I feel like this could be the cycle for us. I know as well that this attitude could lead to something very bad if it's not successful, but like Andre says, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. For now I'm going to live in that little bubble of optimism, daydreaming what it will be like to see those two little lines on a pregnancy test.

The Bachelorette

Hello my name is Jenna and I am a trash-tv-aholic. The Bachelor/ette in particular. I've watched every single season aside from the first original Bachelor, the infamous one where Trista was rejected, and ultimately started the Bachelorette franchise.

So for the next few weeks every Monday evening I will be glued to the tv seeing who she'll ultimately fall in love (lust) with. Even Andre watches it with me. He might not last the entire episode (two hours is a loooooong time) but always wanders back to watch the rose ceremony at the end. I didn't realize how much he liked this show until tonight.

I went out for ice cream with my mom, sister Carrie and my (step) niece Hailey. I got home and could hear familiar voices coming from the television. I walk into the living room, and to my amazement it's last weeks episode of the Bachelorette! Andre isn't even fazed. The first words out of his mouth when he's caught red-handed you ask? "We already saw this one."

He makes me smile. I love a man who is secure enough in his manhood to sit and watch the Bachelorette even when his wife isn't home.

All Clear!

Well I had the HSG done this morning, and I got the all clear. Everyone kept telling me how cool it would be to see my uterus and fallopian tubes on screen, but the way the room was situated I didn't get a chance to see anything :o(

It was over super quick though. Everything I had read about the procedure said that the entire thing would last around 5 minutes. I think the entire test lasted around 2 minutes! It was a little uncomfortable, comparable to a Pap test I guess. The real pain came after. They did the test, he told me it was done and everything was normal, and unblocked, then the nurse ushered me into a washroom with a pad that was probably made in 1970, it was so thick. As I was getting dressed the cramping really started. For about a half hour/45 minutes I had really bad cramping, but then it went away. The cramping afterwards felt worse than the actual test did amazingly enough.

Before the test I had my first follie check of this cycle. It was just as the other two failed Clomid cycles started; quite a few small follicles, but none even close to 10mm. I was not upset though since I didn't have my hopes up that the Clomid would actually work this time. I didn't hear back from the clinic this afternoon about what my next step is though, which is super frustrating! I left a message, and I know the clinic is open tomorrow (a Saturday), so I hope that someone will return my call tomorrow instead of making me wait till Monday.

I think now I am going to rest since I am in the midst of the head cold from hell. Tylenol Sinus is calling my name.

More randomness from Andre

Sometimes I beloved husband comes up with the most random things ever, so if I will remember I will share them with you all.

This conversation happened on Friday as Andre picked me up from work, and we were walking to the car.

Andre: Jenna! ::he was very enthusiastic:: Today I had the most amazing, mind reviving thing today! Guess what it was!

Me: ::blank stare, who asks questions like this after a long day at work??:: A blow job? Who did you find to give you a blow job?

Andre: ha ha, very funny.

(I couldn't resist)

Andre: Limeade! Did you know that there was Limeade in the freezer?! Jenna you need to have some!

At this point I laughed pretty much the whole way home. You see my husband is really one of those men who stops to smell the roses. He notices those little things like how wonderful Limeade tastes on a hot summer day.

(This story was brought to you by my friend Mary Ann who left a can of Limeade in the freezer that we didn't consume mixed with alcohol on the last girls night.)

Welcome to Crazytown

Population: Me

Or at least that is how I feel while I am on Clomid. I don't know what it is about that drug, but it's like all common sense and normalcy leave my body, and all that is left is this hysterical, crazy person. Not fun.

So if you haven't guessed I am once again on the Clomid bandwagon. I had my baseline b/w and u/s done on Friday morning which was CD2. We discussed some options about what the next step could be since the previous two cycles on Clomid were non-responsive. The RE asked about my symptoms and since I don't have a history of some of the more horrible Clomid side effects (headaches/migraines, vision disturbances) he decided to try one more time. This time he prescribed 150mg. I am not looking forward to the craziness. I'm crossing my fingers the maniacal mood swings last cycle were a fluke, and I will be cool as a cucumber this time. Only time will tell.

He did tell me that if when I go in for my first follie check this coming Friday that there has been no response, that he will immediately start another different medication. I will not have to wait for this cycle to be ended yet again with another dose of Provera. I also made a big stink about not having a Hysterosalpinogram, otherwise known as an HSG, so I have one of those booked on Friday morning as well.

An HSG is one of the first tests that most RE's recommend that their patients before beginning fertility treatments. My RE is of the opinion (I'm not saying it's the right opinion) that if you are of a lower risk for fallopian tube blockages, he will wait until there is an unsuccessful cycle (ie. ovulation, but no pregnancy) before ordering one to be done. Well I changed my mind about halfway through the second Clomid cycle. I decided that I wasn't willing to go through the emotional roller coaster of another cycle if he wasn't going to order one. So at 11:30 on Friday morning I will have dye shot through my fallopian tubes. Doesn't that sound like fun?

My mother along with two of my friends have had this procedure done. My mother and one of my friends said that it was no big deal. My other friend said it was one of the most painful things she has had to go through. Altogether the procedure is suppose to last around 5 minutes. I'll give you my verdict later on on Friday. Since I have no clue how I am going to feel, and since I can only take Tylenol beforehand (this sucks so much) I booked the afternoon off. I decided that if having someone insert a catheter through your cervix and then shoot dye through your reproductive organs doesn't constitute a "mental health day" then I don't know what does. That and I'm already working Saturday, so when you think about it it's like I'm not really taking any time off.