The question I hate

It's a question that most mothers/parents get asked when their first child reaches a certain age. Usually sometime after their first birthday.

"So when are you thinking of having #2?"

My heart usually sinks a little bit every single time I hear this question. I keep the smile on my face though, trying not to betray my true feelings to the other person. For most people I give a glib sort of answer and then change the subject.

You see, when you have suffered with infertility in the past, and don't have the resources to go through the whole battle of treatments again, it's a complicated question. One of finances, and logistics, and emotions. You see for us it's not as easy as just throwing caution to the wind and having unprotected sex.

I often wonder what it's like to be able to take your fertility for granted like that and just know that it will happen. Maybe sooner, or later, but it will happen. I think because so many do take their fertility for granted that most just assume that once people have one baby that they will just do it all over again. Then there are others that just think that because you went through treatments once, that it's a given that you will do it again.

I wish for us it was that easy, that simple a decision. But it's not. Right now we just don't have the resources to do it all again. Fertility treatments can be expensive. Not to mention time consuming, and physically and emotionally draining. I have thought lately about what if we did have the resources. Would we be in a place where we would be willing to go through it all again? I couldn't even answer the question.

So for now I guess I continue to slap on the too stiff smile and laugh it off.