What is a blog if not for being completely honest right? So I'm putting it out there, I'm unhappy. No, I'm not unhappy that I'm a mother. I love being a mother, I love Emilie. I love everything about her and being her mother, not to say that there haven't been some rough bits getting to this moment, but this post isn't about that.
I'm unhappy about the status of my marriage. If I was to be completely honest, my marriage has suffered since Andre and I have become parents. I think we have both struggled to try and find the balance of being Jenna and Andre, while adjusting to being mom and dad at the same time. We haven't hit our stride, and at moments like this it makes me wonder if we ever will.
It's hard to talk to my close friends that have children because I don't want them to hate my husband, and think that everything is 100% his fault, because it takes two people to make a relationship work or reversely fail, so 50% of the problems are because of me. You get the advice from people from my parents generation, the "you marry your first child and give birth to the rest" or "It doesn't get any better you know.", generation. Then I feel like screaming back that I refuse to live like this for the next 35 years. I don't want to wake up 35 years from now hating and resenting my husband because that's what marriage is suppose to be like. Then you get the advice from my generation, the in-touch-get-your-feelings-out generation. "You need to tell him how you feel" "You need to tell him what you need" "You need to tell him what to do", generation. Well sometimes I would like to go 24 hours without feeling like a nag, his mother, or just a bitch. Just 24 hours.
The entire time you know that your mother is thinking that I should just get over it and then I'll just be happy, and then my friends are thinking that they are so thankful that they're marriage doesn't suck as much as mine. At least that's what I think they're thinking.
It just seemed so easy before we were parents. We'd been together for almost 8 years, we had us figured out. We knew the ins and outs of us. Then we decided to change everything, add a new role into the mix, add the role of mom and dad to all the other hats that we wear.
In our case I know that the transition to mom was an easier one for me. It's been easier for me to just put Jenna aside and be "Mom". With Andre, I feel that he has struggled with the transition. I feel Andre doesn't want, or isn't ready to just put Andre aside and concentrate on being "Dad". I've tried quite a few times to discuss this with him, but it gets so exhausting trying to explain everything, trying to explain my feelings. I'm just so tired.
I would love one day not having to tell him how to do something, or asking him for help when I feel like he should just know by now when I'm going crazy and stressed out trying to do 5 things at once, that maybe, just maybe checking his e-mail or calling his father might not be a good idea, and he should help me with the baby instead. Why can't he just "get it"?
Le Sigh
I don't know what the point of this is. I feel alone, like no one else in my circle has felt this way. Like we're the only ones to go through this. Ever. Even though I know realistically that can't be the case.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Cloth Diaper Investment
I think that the biggest reason that people decide to cloth diaper their little one, aside from the environmental reasons of course, is the cost savings. This can be a little difficult to get your head around for some people when you're spending hundreds of dollars in most cases to build up a good stash of diapers. To cloth diaper one child, and wash diapers every other day most companies will recommend at least 24 diapers. Some can make due with only 12, we have about 20 diapers.
I'll break down what I have spent so far on diapers to give you and idea of what an average (or what I think is average) diaper stash would cost.
Best Bottom Diapers:
Cost of Happy Heiny's:
2 one size diapers @ $24.00 each = $48.00
2 sized diapers @ 15.00 each = 60.00
Total of: $108.00
Grand Total Cloth Diaper Investment: $390.85
Now for some people out there they may be saying "See, she spent $400 on diapers! That's ridiculous!!" Well to compare what I would have spent on using disposables 100% of the time since her birth I did a quick calculation. Now this calculation would be based on 10 diaper changes/day for 106 days, since she's 106 days old today. This calculation is conservative since for about a month she was getting changed at least 12 times/day. This calculation is also based on a 96 count box of Huggies ON SALE for $24.99. Anyone who has a baby knows when you run out you run out, you don't go searching for sales at 9pm at night, you drive to the nearest store and pay full price on a bag of diapers.
So taking all that into account I could have conservatively spent $274.89 on disposable diapers, so far! I figure that in another month or so I will have saved enough in cloth diapers to have paid off my cloth diaper investment. In three months!
I'll break down what I have spent so far on diapers to give you and idea of what an average (or what I think is average) diaper stash would cost.
Best Bottom Diapers:
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| 4 covers, 12 stay dry inserts |
The cost of the Best Bottom Diapers was: 4 shells @ $16.95 each = $67.80
12 stay dry inserts @ 3.95 each = $47.40
Total Investment: $115.20
BumGenius 4.0 Diapers:
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| 8 BumGenius 4.0 |
The cost of 8 BumGenius 4.0: $23.95 each = $191.60, minus buy 5 get 1 free promotion = $167.65
Happy Heiny's Diapers:
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| 2 one size diapers, 4 sized diapers |
2 one size diapers @ $24.00 each = $48.00
2 sized diapers @ 15.00 each = 60.00
Total of: $108.00
Grand Total Cloth Diaper Investment: $390.85
Now for some people out there they may be saying "See, she spent $400 on diapers! That's ridiculous!!" Well to compare what I would have spent on using disposables 100% of the time since her birth I did a quick calculation. Now this calculation would be based on 10 diaper changes/day for 106 days, since she's 106 days old today. This calculation is conservative since for about a month she was getting changed at least 12 times/day. This calculation is also based on a 96 count box of Huggies ON SALE for $24.99. Anyone who has a baby knows when you run out you run out, you don't go searching for sales at 9pm at night, you drive to the nearest store and pay full price on a bag of diapers.
So taking all that into account I could have conservatively spent $274.89 on disposable diapers, so far! I figure that in another month or so I will have saved enough in cloth diapers to have paid off my cloth diaper investment. In three months!
Now some of you out there (those same people!) will be saying "She's probably paying a ton more in hydro and gas, and she's probably buying some expensive special detergent to wash those diapers! Ha!" Ummm, no. I use the same detergent that I use for all of our clothing to wash her cloth diapers, Purex Free and Clear. No expensive special detergent here. It's even cloth diaper friendly, so there! As for our utility bills, our hydro bill is exactly the same (minus the huge amount we pay for HST), our gas bill is a little bit more, but we are also doing more dishes washing bottles by hand (which uses more hot water than using a dishwasher), and we are doing more laundry in general with her stuff, and all of our stuff. So we can't blame the slight increase just on diapers.
So there you have it. The actual cost of cloth diapering!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Cloth Diaper Review Continued...BumGenius 4.0
AKA my favourite cloth diaper.
If you've done any research at all out there on cloth diapering BumGenius will most likely pop up quite a bit during your research. They have been around for years, and they make an awesome diaper. They are a pocket diaper just like the Happy Heiny's but they are just....better. The PUL is super soft, they adjust great around the waist without the same overlap thickness at the waist like the HH's. They have a flap a the back of the diaper to prevent having to fiddle with the back waist band to prevent the wet band at the back if you don't keep the fleece down far enough. The list goes on and on.
I started out with two of the snap versions of this diaper.
I really don't know how to start with these diapers. They are my favourite, they are also my mother's favourite. Andre really hasn't expressed a favourite, he just uses what cloth diapers are there and changes Emilie's bum. They are super absorbent. I have used these diapers for both daytime, and nighttime, with no leaks. This is really good since Emilie will routinely sleep for 8-10 hour stretches at night.
Out of all three of the diapers, the BG insterts are the thinnest, making this the trimmest diaper out of all three that I have chosen. This is also great when they are in the dryer since it takes less time for them to dry. Maybe in the summer I will line dry them and see if they don't get too crunchy drying that way.
Since my initial purchase of two diapers I have purchased an additional 6 diapers, three with aplix (velcro) closure, and 3 more with snaps. The laundry tabs on the aplix diapers are great and not once have they come undone in the wash which is more than I can say for the HH's laundry tabs. I do plan on purchasing some more BG diapers, to hopefully bring my stash of these diapers up to 18 or so. I just have to decide whether or not I am going to keep, or sell the BB diapers.
Bottom Line for BumGenius 4.0: Awesome diaper! Well worth the investment. I do not have one complaint about these diapers. They are great for daytime and nighttime use, with no leaks or blow outs. They are trim, soft, and look so cute on our little girl! I just wish I had more of these diapers!
If you've done any research at all out there on cloth diapering BumGenius will most likely pop up quite a bit during your research. They have been around for years, and they make an awesome diaper. They are a pocket diaper just like the Happy Heiny's but they are just....better. The PUL is super soft, they adjust great around the waist without the same overlap thickness at the waist like the HH's. They have a flap a the back of the diaper to prevent having to fiddle with the back waist band to prevent the wet band at the back if you don't keep the fleece down far enough. The list goes on and on.
I started out with two of the snap versions of this diaper.
Out of all three of the diapers, the BG insterts are the thinnest, making this the trimmest diaper out of all three that I have chosen. This is also great when they are in the dryer since it takes less time for them to dry. Maybe in the summer I will line dry them and see if they don't get too crunchy drying that way.
Since my initial purchase of two diapers I have purchased an additional 6 diapers, three with aplix (velcro) closure, and 3 more with snaps. The laundry tabs on the aplix diapers are great and not once have they come undone in the wash which is more than I can say for the HH's laundry tabs. I do plan on purchasing some more BG diapers, to hopefully bring my stash of these diapers up to 18 or so. I just have to decide whether or not I am going to keep, or sell the BB diapers.
Bottom Line for BumGenius 4.0: Awesome diaper! Well worth the investment. I do not have one complaint about these diapers. They are great for daytime and nighttime use, with no leaks or blow outs. They are trim, soft, and look so cute on our little girl! I just wish I had more of these diapers!
Cloth Diaper Review Continued...Happy Heiny's
It's been a little longer than I thought getting back to my review, but well, life got in the way!
Second on my list of cloth diapers in my stash is Happy Heiny's. These are also great diapers. Actually, all of the diapers in my stash are great diapers for the most part, I've been very lucky. These diapers are a different type of diapers than the Best Bottom Diapers. These are a pocket diaper. Just like it says, you stuff the insert into the pocket in the diaper. This is how you control the absorbency of the diapers.
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| Happy Heiny's diapers. One size on left, sized diapers on right. |
These sized diapers have been the only cloth diaper from the stash that has leaked. I just cannot get them small enough on our little girl. They differ from the one size diapers in that they do not have tabs that cross over in the front to make them just that little bit smaller. Because of this I just don't use these diapers anymore, I just hate the leaking. Now, on their website you can request (for no additional charge) the cross over tabs to solve this leaking problem. If you were to buy the sized diapers I would opt for that for the added size adjustments. But why go for sized diapers when you can buy One Size?!
I also had two One Size Pocket Diapers from Happy Heiny's. They are my second favourite diaper in the stash. The PUL is soft, they are less bulky than the Best Bottom Diapers, and they adjust really well in the waist. They come in a bunch of solid colours and absolutely adorable prints. I have one in their hook and loop closure, and one in snaps. I don't like their hook and loop. I always remember to fasten the laundry tabs, and it never fails it always comes undone, and has snagged another one of my diapers. For this reason I have catches on my Best Bottom shells. The snaps solves this problem.
One of the unique things about the HH's diapers is how their tabs cross over. The plus is that they are uber adjustable, and get nice and snug around E's waist. The downside is that when it's crossed over there's an extra layer of fabric across E's belly that sticks out and looks odd. You win some, you lose some. Another thing with the HH's diapers is that you have to make sure when you're done putting on the diaper that none of the fleece inside cover is sticking up over the PUL at the back, if it is when your LO goes for a pee you will get a wet line across their back from the moisture. Small detail, but if you don't remember you will be changing more clothes than you need to. This happens more to Andre than to me.
Bottom Line for Happy Heiny's: Great diaper for the money. They are a little more reasonable than the BumGenius Diapers. The inside fleece lining is super soft, they are easy to stuff. They are a trim diaper, and they adjust very easily for sizing. This definitely comes in handy with a leaner baby. The snaps are better since the laundry tabs on the velcro ones are crap.
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