3 out of 4 ain't bad

So just about a month ago I passed another milestone in my life. I celebrated my 30th birthday. We celebrated very quietly. We had originally planned to have a housewarming/birthday party, but there has been much drama lately (another entry for that coming soon), so we decided to postpone the housewarming party indefinitely until we (well mostly I) have completed more work to the house. Instead Andre took me out to dinner, and surprised me with a homemade cake and a bouquet of mini pink roses. My mother also surprised me with flowers, so it was a good day all around.

Leading up to the big day I had questions from almost everyone about how I felt about this birthday. I've found that most people have the big birthday "freak out" on either their 25th, 29th, 30th, or 31st birthdays. I had my big freak out on my 25th birthday. I was one of those girls that had the plan (yes I know, can hear the groans). I wanted to be married, a homeowner and a mom or mom-to-be by my 30th birthday, as well as having the dream career (no pressure right?!). To me that was the age when I needed to have my shit together. At 25 I had the career, but was still struggling to really make a go at it, working 3 jobs. I had the boyfriend (my now husband), but was still away from deciding that yes, he was "the one". I was what felt like light years away from home ownership and motherhood; what felt like the holy grail of adulthood and maturity to me.

Needless to say after a sucky evening with all of my friends getting tanked at my birthday outing to a bar while I couldn't because of a back injury and pain meds, I had my "where-is-my-life-going? crisis about 5 years earlier than most. In a way I am happy about that now because it allowed me to actually enjoy turning 30. I could sit back and think about how I was damned happy that I had actually accomplished 3 out of my 4 wishes. I had that career that I always wanted, I had the absolutely amazing husband, and I was a homeowner. WHOO HOOO for me! I had finally made it to that point of acceptance that although we do want to be parents, this moment is not our moment, and that is okay (well most of the time, let's not kid ourselves!). How many people on their 30th birthday have actually done that?

Now I could look forward to a decade of being secure in myself. I've done the decade of self-discovery. I've done the partying, the drinking, the dating. Now is my time to revel in all that I have accomplished. I've worked damned hard in my 20's, now is my time to enjoy it! So for the moment I am content that 3 out of 4 really isn't that bad.