I had my latest follie check this morning. It was just as I suspected, no response. This time I wasn't upset, I expected it. I know that I should never go into a cycle expecting failure, but I needed to to protect myself. There was that glimmer of optimism with the first check, but this one I just wanted it to be over, be done with Clomid.
The ultrasound technician tried really hard, and by hard, I mean she warned me it would hurt (and it did). She really wanted to make sure that she didn't overlook anything. But there was nothing there to overlook. Now don't get me wrong, there are follicles, but they are much too small. Like I mentioned before a mature follicle needs to be around 20mm, and mine were all under 10, on the 14th day of my cycle. The tech told me to talk to Dr C if I had time this morning so after getting my b/w done I waited to talk to him.
The first words out of his mouth when reviewing the results were "no response" the words I'm so used to hearing. He gave me two options for going forward: 1) wait another 3-4 days then come back for a follow up u/s and b/w to see if Clomid was going to do anything at all OR 2) move right on to injectable medications. For me it was a no brainer. I told him I didn't feel that 3-4 days would make any difference in my response. I wanted to move onto injectables. He agreed.
So this evening armed with the Puregon website on my laptop, and Andre by my side I got over my lifelong phobia of needles, and injected myself. Oh.my.goodness! I can't believe I was actually able to do it. I am so proud of myself! The plan now is to inject myself with 35iu (international units) of Puregon (which is FSH-Follicle Stimulating Hormone), each night for three nights, and then have a follow up exam on Saturday morning.
I think the only way to describe how I feel is excited! Aside from our first Clomid cycle, I feel hope. I feel like we have a shot. I feel like this could be the cycle for us. I know as well that this attitude could lead to something very bad if it's not successful, but like Andre says, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. For now I'm going to live in that little bubble of optimism, daydreaming what it will be like to see those two little lines on a pregnancy test.
The ultrasound technician tried really hard, and by hard, I mean she warned me it would hurt (and it did). She really wanted to make sure that she didn't overlook anything. But there was nothing there to overlook. Now don't get me wrong, there are follicles, but they are much too small. Like I mentioned before a mature follicle needs to be around 20mm, and mine were all under 10, on the 14th day of my cycle. The tech told me to talk to Dr C if I had time this morning so after getting my b/w done I waited to talk to him.
The first words out of his mouth when reviewing the results were "no response" the words I'm so used to hearing. He gave me two options for going forward: 1) wait another 3-4 days then come back for a follow up u/s and b/w to see if Clomid was going to do anything at all OR 2) move right on to injectable medications. For me it was a no brainer. I told him I didn't feel that 3-4 days would make any difference in my response. I wanted to move onto injectables. He agreed.
So this evening armed with the Puregon website on my laptop, and Andre by my side I got over my lifelong phobia of needles, and injected myself. Oh.my.goodness! I can't believe I was actually able to do it. I am so proud of myself! The plan now is to inject myself with 35iu (international units) of Puregon (which is FSH-Follicle Stimulating Hormone), each night for three nights, and then have a follow up exam on Saturday morning.
I think the only way to describe how I feel is excited! Aside from our first Clomid cycle, I feel hope. I feel like we have a shot. I feel like this could be the cycle for us. I know as well that this attitude could lead to something very bad if it's not successful, but like Andre says, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. For now I'm going to live in that little bubble of optimism, daydreaming what it will be like to see those two little lines on a pregnancy test.
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