I was going through my blog entries, and found that I had done some blogging on my hiatus. This is part of the reason that I have been away from you all....work. It's sucking the life out of me I tell you! So here is my lost blog entry, written originally on September 22nd.
Time seemed to be slipping away quickly before, but now with both of us back to work and the madness now in full swing, each day is passing more quickly than the last. Never enough time for us, never enough time for myself, and never enough time for Emilie, or at least that is how it seems. I find myself in a bit of a funk. Stuck in this limbo that I'm sure all working Mama's can appreciate. How do I make sure that I'm at my best at work? How do I make sure that my little girl is getting all of me at home? How do I make sure that I'm giving my husband enough attention and affection? Right now housekeeping doesn't even figure on the list. Someday it will get on there, but not right now!
Like everything that has to do with parenting it seems I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know how hard. I was a driven career woman for so long, over a decade before I had Emilie. I would joke that my practice was my first baby. Emilie was my second. Now that I have Emilie things have changed, my mindset has changed. I no longer want to stay at work, attend after hours work functions. I want to get my butt out of the clinic as quickly as I can, so I can scoop up my little girl and give her the biggest hug. I feel like I miss out on so much while I am at work.
I've already missed her first drink out of the sippy cup. She tried to get her little legs underneath her in the crawling position for my mother, I was at work for that too. I know it is inevitable, that I'm going to miss things, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make my heart hurt any less that I missed out on something because I was at work.
Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love what I get to do. I get to do two things that I love doing, I get to talk all.day.long, and I get to make people feel better. Can you get any better than that? So I can only imagine how I would feel if I didn't like my job, or worse, hated my job. I know that there are many of you out there in that exact situation. So I count myself lucky in that respect. I have a job that I love, at least once I get here I enjoy myself. It's just getting here.
