The holidays are here again

With all the stress that goes along with it!

I have to confess that I'm a little Scrooge when it comes to Christmas. I find the holidays stressful, too materialistic, too rushed, the list goes on and on. I hate that it takes sometimes MONTHS to get ready for Christmas for it all to be over in a matter of hours. It's just not fair I tell you! Never mind all the family stress that goes along with Christmas.

This year is a little different. I'm dying to see Emilie on Christmas morning open her presents and play with the wrapping paper. I think it will be so exciting. We have one present in particular that I know she will just love, and I think she is just at the perfect stage developmentally for it as well, so I think she will really get a lot of use out of it. At the same time I dread Christmas dinner at my parents small home. There will possibly be about 17 people in my parents townhouse. The entire main floor is going to be transformed into a huge dining room, and their basement is a giant storage area, so is absolutely unusable. Being that Emilie is now a lean, mean, crawling machine, I am super stressed about this.

To make matters even more stressful my mother-in-law has decided that she is allergic to our cat this year and will be unable to make it for Christmas dinner. Normally I would just say it's her loss and rejoice that I don't have to put up with her eccentricities overnight, we now have Emilie, and I feel it's important for her to see both sets of grandparents for the holidays. Sigh, so I'm being the bigger person, and I suggested to Andre that we pack up everything but the kitchen sink and drive to their place for dinner on Christmas Eve. It should be a gigantic pain in the ass, and I will no doubt spend the entire visit trying to make sure Emilie doesn't get into something she shouldn't, but that's what the holidays are for right?

We did do some fun things though, starting with a little photo shoot with a local photographer. Considering the price (only $40) I am happy with the images. They looked great on our photo Christmas card, so that is a plus. Emilie would not smile at.all the entire time we were with the photographer, and I felt really disappointed when we left, but I think they turned out well regardless. Here are some of the shots that we had taken:

Pictures two, three, and five were used on our Christmas cards this year, which are currently sitting on my dining room table waiting to be written out and mailed sometime this weekend. I am sooooo behind this year.

Last weekend we went to my church's annual Breakfast with Santa. I had helped as a server in the past, and it was something I always thought would be fun to do once I had a family of my own. It was, and we ended up getting some great shots with Santa with Emilie, and Emilie and Joshua. Here are a few:

Emilie bored with breakfast, wanting to see Santa.

Checking him out.

Apparently very happy with her new story book.

Emilie and Santa.

Emilie, Santa, and Josh

Making sure Josh realizes how cool this is.

Josh with Santa

The Working Mother Debate

Anyone who is a mother has an opinion on this very subject.

I am no different.

Now I live in Canada, the home of hockey, and the one year maternity leave. That is for everyone that is not self-employed. (Now they do have maternity leave benefits for Self Employed people, but it started too late for me to benefit from this.) So Andre and I saved and built up a savings so I could stay home for four months full time with Emilie. Then when Andre was headed home for the summer from work I would head back to work since there was no way we could afford to stay home with half an income over the summer while Andre was off work!

Now I will start by saying that I am incredibly fortunate that I am self employed in that I have a flexible schedule and can bed my schedule. Most people with a traditional job do not have this option. One con to my specific field is that my income relies on the availability of people, ie. working evenings and weekends. My dream would be an 8am-4pm or 9am-5pm work day, but unless the work day of everyone else changes, this just isn't my reality.

I thought I was prepared for being a working mother*. I knew it would be difficult and not without challenges...I had no idea how difficult. I had no clue how isolated I would feel. Aside from one woman I know (also an RMT) no one knows what it is like. It is an incredibly blessing to get to be home with your child for an entire year. I will freely admit that I am envious of everyone who has the opportunity to do so.

There are a lot of women out there that will tell you that it is easier to be a working mother*. I do not agree. For me it is harder, much harder. I cannot be the best mother, the best wife, the best employee all at the same time. Something has to suffer. If someone has figured out how to do everything perfectly I would like to know their secret. I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction at the same time. I have no time for myself. I will admit that this is of my own accord. If I have free time I want to spend it with my daughter. I will never ever get this precious time back. You can't get back their first word, their first laugh, their first crawl, their first anything. Maybe when she is older it will be easier to leave her, until then I don't want to miss anymore firsts than I have to.

I found it easier to get things done when I was at home. When my daughter napped I would tidy the kitchen, throw in a load of laundry, clean the living room. I can't do that when I'm at work. So now my evenings weekends are spent playing catch up. Those days that Emilie would be up screaming for whatever reason throughout the night, I would :gasp: sleep when she was sleeping. Yet another thing that is hard to do when I am at work. I find out about a work function and the first thing I think is "I'll miss more time with Emilie".

I feel overwhelmed all the time. I feel like I'm playing catch up all the time.

For me, being a working mother* is harder, much harder.

*Please note that every time I use the term "working mother" I refer to a mother who works outside of the home. I don't want any nasty comments about how stay at home mothers work too. I am aware of that.

Here I am.

There have been many moments over the last few months where I have sat where I am sitting at this exact moment, thinking, to myself about how I should get back to blogging. I've found myself craving that release of thoughts like I used to when I was journaling years ago. I even found myself tempted to grab a pen and notebook and start scribbling down thoughts, but then reminded myself that I have a BLOG.

So here I am, again.

I think part of the reason I have resisted blogging is my fear that maybe people will find what I have to say boring, but then I remind myself that I started blogging for me, so I shall continue blogging for me. Hopefully the occasional entry will strike a chord with someone out there along the way.

So here, I am. I hope you'll have me back.

Time keeps slipping away

I was going through my blog entries, and found that I had done some blogging on my hiatus. This is part of the reason that I have been away from you all....work. It's sucking the life out of me I tell you! So here is my lost blog entry, written originally on September 22nd.

Time seemed to be slipping away quickly before, but now with both of us back to work and the madness now in full swing, each day is passing more quickly than the last.  Never enough time for us, never enough time for myself, and never enough time for Emilie, or at least that is how it seems. I find myself in a bit of a funk. Stuck in this limbo that I'm sure all working Mama's can appreciate. How do I make sure that I'm at my best at work? How do I make sure that my little girl is getting all of me at home? How do I make sure that I'm giving my husband enough attention and affection? Right now housekeeping doesn't even figure on the list. Someday it will get on there, but not right now!

Like everything that has to do with parenting it seems I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know how hard. I was a driven career woman for so long, over a decade before I had Emilie. I would joke that my practice was my first baby. Emilie was my second. Now that I have Emilie things have changed, my mindset has changed. I no longer want to stay at work, attend after hours work functions. I want to get my butt out of the clinic as quickly as I can, so I can scoop up my little girl and give her the biggest hug. I feel like I miss out on so much while I am at work.

I've already missed her first drink out of the sippy cup. She tried to get her little legs underneath her in the crawling position for my mother, I was at work for that too. I know it is inevitable, that I'm going to miss things, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make my heart hurt any less that I missed out on something because I was at work.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love what I get to do. I get to do two things that I love doing, I get to talk all.day.long, and I get to make people feel better. Can you get any better than that? So I can only imagine how I would feel if I didn't like my job, or worse, hated my job. I know that there are many of you out there in that exact situation. So I count myself lucky in that respect. I have a job that I love, at least once I get here I enjoy myself. It's just getting here.

I think my Boobies are closing up shop

I think my short and arduous journey into the land of breast feeding is coming to an end. Emilie has been outright refusing the breast during feedings over this last week. I've been meaning to write about my breast feeding experience for so long now. Wanting to share my journey, hoping that maybe it will bring comfort to someone out there. Now that everything is most likely coming to an end, I think now is the time.

I grew up in a home of three girls. My mother exclusively breastfed all three of us. My youngest sister is 8 years younger than me, so as a young girl I learned that babies weren't fed from a bottle, that's what boobies were for. My mother even shared a story of me as a 9 year old sitting outside our home freaking a neighbour right out when I lifted my shirt and put my baby doll to my chest so she could "eat". It just seemed natural. You have a baby, you breastfeed said baby. Easy peasy right?

NO!!!! A million times no!

I heard stories of friends, beautiful stories of their beautiful wrinkly, little newborns being placed on their chest and starting to suckle on their own scootching up to their breast so they can have that first little meal. That was not my reality. My reality was a sleepy, lazy, satisfied little girl who was so full of the fluid they (the doctors) had pumped me full of during my delivery, that she was in no way wanting another meal. All she was interested in was snuggling on my chest for a nice little nap. The closest we got those first few hours was her flicking my nipple around with her tongue, trying to push it away.

::Le Sigh::

Little Emilie was not interested in eating those first few days. Our second night in the hospital she went a full seven, S-E-V-E-N hours between feedings. Not from our lack of trying either. I swear that night I met almost every single nurse on shift. Each one trying their own little trick for trying to wake a sleepy baby to feed. I ended up hand expressing colostrum, squeezing the drops of liquid gold into her mouth, letting her swallow, then starting again. That was a meal for her. The nurses had me strip her down, lay her on my chest, tickle her toes, tickle under her chin, move her arms, move her legs, finally they had me wipe her down with a cold damp cloth. Mean I know, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Even the damp cloth didn't work after awhile. She was not interested in the boob juice.

After about 36 hours of that whole routine to get her to eat, her weight had dropped below the dreaded 10% loss. The midwife gave us two options; either rent a breast pump like that minute, or start supplementing with formula via a tube to get us through until that magic moment when my milk would come in. We happened to have some sample cans of formula in our pantry, so we opted for supplementing. I also booked an appointment for my fourth day post partum with a lactation consultant. We supplemented, and she gained, and the lactation consultant fixed our shallow latch issues, and I bought myself a pump.

I started pumping for 10 minutes after each feeding in the hopes of increasing my supply. The next day (5 days post partum) I had another visit from my midwife. She delivered the dreaded news: I had a low supply. I thought the 20mL I was pumping after each feeding was great, true, it wasn't enough to even supplement the next feeding, but it was okay right? Wrong. She gave me two options, herbs, or Domperidone. I opted for Domperidone. Made an appointment with my family doctor and started that very day.

All I have to say is THANK GOD Andre was home those first three weeks. I honestly would have lost it, seriously lost my mind if it wasn't for him. Feedings were suppose to be this serene time with mom and baby, snuggling. Hahahaha. Not in our house, it was a huge production of stripping Emilie down, changing her bum in the hopes of waking her up a little bit, then trying to get her latched on. And really that was the last thing Emilie wanted to do. My boobies couldn't give her what she wanted so why try right? Once we got her latched it was a rush to get the feeding tube in her mouth so she could down the formula while on the breast. That was assuming she would latch. Sometimes after about 10 minutes of struggling, we would give up and finger feed her. I do not miss those days. Then after the whole production of feeding her I would have to relinquish my little snugly baby who just wanted to be cuddled in favour of my cold, unforgiving breast pump so I would watch Andre get to snuggle Emilie while I sat (crying) in my glider pumping away.

By this point the post partum blues were beginning to set in. The stress of everything was becoming a little bit too much for me. Andre was about to go back to work, and I knew that our routine was not something that I could continue on my own when my late night partner in crime was asleep. I made the decision to drop my after feeding pump sessions overnight, and just supplement with formula what she needed. This was probably the beginning of the end, but when your sanity is hanging by a thread, you choose your sanity.

This lead to a phase of exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula. In the evenings in an effort to calm Emilie I would put her on the breast and she would calm herself by having a little snack. After about a month of pumping, I had enough, my nipples were killing me and I was miserable being stuck to a pump all the time instead of spending time with my daughter, or sleeping, or eating, or well anything.

I was on the verge of giving up all together when Emilie decided that she would actually latch on well and take a little feeding. So in a last ditch effort to continue giving Emilie some breast milk I started offering the breast before each feeding. She would nurse for about 10-15 minutes then finish off with her bottle. Let me just say my beloved daughter has no issue with the dreaded nipple confusion. We have continued with this for about 3 months or so. I think the final blow came with my return to work. Things were going so well, but I have noticed a drop in my lack lustre supply since I've been back to work. This has led to our little Miss outright refusing to nurse the last few days. I see the writing on the wall. I know what is coming. She's had enough. I can't give her what she wants when she wants it. The bottle can.

I found myself crying today while trying to feed her. My nipple leaking and her refusing to nurse because she knows a bottle is coming. At that moment I knew what is to come. I'm still taking Domperidone, but I will probably stop taking it after today. There is no need if she refuses to nurse. I refuse to go back to the pump for the dismal amount of breast milk I can pump. It's not worth the time I have to take away from her. She's thriving. She's happy. She's healthy. I can't complain.

If she will nurse tonight before bed I will savour those last little moments. Just her and I. Something only I can give her. PCOS robbed me of my ability to breast feed exclusively, but it can't take that away from me.

I am an Auntie!

You may all call me Auntie Jenna.

My little nephew was born via emergency c-section on June 29th, 2011. My sister Carrie went into preterm labour at 33 weeks, and the medication they gave her to stop labour ended up causing her blood pressure to drop dangerously low, thus causing his heart rate to drop dangerously low. It was a very tense day, but little Joshua Joseph was born a full 7 weeks early at exactly 5lbs. He was small, but perfect.

He spent the next 2 and a half weeks in the NICU, and got to come home. It was a great day to finally get to see him, and hold him for the first time.

He has been thriving since he arrived home. At his last weigh in with the family doctor he was a whopping 6lbs, 8ozs. He gained a full pound in his first week home! He has been such a good little boy for his mommy and daddy (oh how jealous!) as well.

So blog land, here is my nephew Joshua Joseph:

A little collage I made for Carrie to celebrate Josh's 2 week birthday. It reads "What a difference two weeks makes. Joshua then and now."

Their brave little man, finally home!

My first snuggle time with Josh!

We call this one "Big and Little". Their first picture together.

Our Sunday morning in pictures

Morning load of diaper laundry

Some time in the garden. Look what bloomed!

Sleepy little girl napping.

4 Months!

Our little girl just recently turned 4 months old. Time is passing by much too quickly. For a more detailed entry into what our little girl has been up to you can go to our Baby Blog. Here's the nitty gritty from her 4 month appointment:

Weight: 13lbs. That's a one pound gain from her 3 month appointment.
Height: 24 inches. That's a one inch increase from a month ago.

This puts her just under the 50th percentile for her weight according to the doctor. I still have to do the calculations for her height.

Here is our little girl from her 4 month photo shoot:

Then and now, the difference a year makes

July 1st 2010

July 1st 2011

God bless modern technology.

Then and Now

I've found myself thinking about last year a lot lately. Random moments when I've been feeding Emilie I'll say to Andre, "remember what we would have been doing around this time last year? I probably had a visit to Dr. C's office this morning". That was no different last weekend. I talked about Father's Day weekend last year here. It was the weekend of our IUI.

This year, we celebrated Father's Day a little differently:



It was the day of our little Emilie's Baptism. Whenever I thought about the significance of that day tears would come to my eyes. It was so fitting that she was Baptised on that day. Last year we left it up to God. Then a year later we made a promise to Him for our precious little girl.

Thank You

I would just like to send a huge thank you to everyone who responded to my last post, either by posting a comment, or getting in touch privately. It was great to know that I am indeed not the only one going through this.
This parent business is very hard, and I think sometimes we don't want to talk about the not so fun things, or feel like they're taboo. One of the hardest things about being a parent is that feeling of isolation sometimes, so thank you to everyone who was able to talk about those not so fun parts of parenthood, and helping me to feel not so isolated.

Redifining us

What is a blog if not for being completely honest right? So I'm putting it out there, I'm unhappy. No, I'm not unhappy that I'm a mother. I love being a mother, I love Emilie. I love everything about her and being her mother, not to say that there haven't been some rough bits getting to this moment, but this post isn't about that.

I'm unhappy about the status of my marriage. If I was to be completely honest, my marriage has suffered since Andre and I have become parents. I think we have both struggled to try and find the balance of being Jenna and Andre, while adjusting to being mom and dad at the same time. We haven't hit our stride, and at moments like this it makes me wonder if we ever will.

It's hard to talk to my close friends that have children because I don't want them to hate my husband, and think that everything is 100% his fault, because it takes two people to make a relationship work or reversely fail, so 50% of the problems are because of me. You get the advice from people from my parents generation, the "you marry your first child and give birth to the rest" or "It doesn't get any better you know.", generation.  Then I feel like screaming back that I refuse to live like this for the next 35 years. I don't want to wake up 35 years from now hating and resenting my husband because that's what marriage is suppose to be like. Then you get the advice from my generation, the in-touch-get-your-feelings-out generation. "You need to tell him how you feel" "You need to tell him what  you need" "You need to tell him what to do", generation. Well sometimes I would like to go 24 hours without feeling like a nag,  his mother, or just a bitch. Just 24 hours.

The entire time you know that your mother is thinking that I should just get over it and then I'll just be happy, and then my friends are thinking that they are so thankful that they're marriage doesn't suck as much as mine. At least that's what I think they're thinking.

It just seemed so easy before we were parents. We'd been together for almost 8 years, we had us figured out. We knew the ins and outs of us. Then we decided to change everything, add a new role into the mix, add the role of mom and dad to all the other hats that we wear.

In our case I know that the transition to mom was an easier one for me. It's been easier for me to just put Jenna aside and be "Mom". With Andre,  I feel that he has struggled with the transition. I feel Andre doesn't want, or isn't ready to just put Andre aside and concentrate on being "Dad". I've tried quite a few times to discuss this with him, but it gets so exhausting trying to explain everything, trying to explain my feelings. I'm just so tired.

I would love one day not having to tell him how to do something, or asking him for help when I feel like he should just know by now when I'm going crazy and stressed out trying to do 5 things at once, that maybe, just maybe checking his e-mail or calling his father might not be a good idea, and he should help me with the baby instead. Why can't he just "get it"?

Le Sigh

I don't know what the point of this is. I feel alone, like no one else in my circle has felt this way. Like we're the only ones to go through this. Ever. Even though I know realistically that can't be the case.

Cloth Diaper Investment

I think that the biggest reason that people decide to cloth diaper their little one, aside from the environmental reasons of course, is the cost savings. This can be a little difficult to get your head around for some people when you're spending hundreds of dollars in most cases to build up a good stash of diapers. To cloth diaper one child, and wash diapers every other day most companies will recommend at least 24 diapers. Some can make due with only 12, we have about 20 diapers.

I'll break down what I have spent so far on diapers to give you and idea of what an average (or what I think is average) diaper stash would cost.
Best Bottom Diapers:

4 covers, 12 stay dry inserts

The cost of the Best Bottom Diapers was: 4 shells @ $16.95 each = $67.80

12 stay dry inserts @ 3.95 each = $47.40

Total Investment: $115.20

BumGenius 4.0 Diapers:



8 BumGenius 4.0

The cost of 8 BumGenius 4.0: $23.95 each = $191.60, minus buy 5 get 1 free promotion = $167.65

Happy Heiny's Diapers:



2 one size diapers, 4 sized diapers

Cost of Happy Heiny's:
2 one size diapers @ $24.00 each = $48.00
2 sized diapers @ 15.00 each = 60.00
Total of: $108.00

Grand Total Cloth Diaper Investment: $390.85

Now for some people out there they may be saying "See, she spent $400 on diapers! That's ridiculous!!" Well to compare what I would have spent on using disposables 100% of the time since her birth I did a quick calculation. Now this calculation would be based on 10 diaper changes/day for 106 days, since she's 106 days old today. This calculation is conservative since for about a month she was getting changed at least 12 times/day. This calculation is also based on a 96 count box of Huggies ON SALE for $24.99. Anyone who has a baby knows when you run out you run out, you don't go searching for sales at 9pm at night, you drive to the nearest store and pay full price on a bag of diapers.

So taking all that into account I could have conservatively spent $274.89 on disposable diapers, so far! I figure that in another month or so I will have saved enough in cloth diapers to have paid off my cloth diaper investment. In three months!

Now some of you out there (those same people!) will be saying "She's probably paying a ton more in hydro and gas, and she's probably buying some expensive special detergent to wash those diapers! Ha!" Ummm, no. I use the same detergent that I use for all of our clothing to wash her cloth diapers, Purex Free and Clear. No expensive special detergent here. It's even cloth diaper friendly, so there! As for our utility bills, our hydro bill is exactly the same (minus the huge amount we pay for HST), our gas bill is a little bit more, but we are also doing more dishes washing bottles by hand (which uses more hot water than using a dishwasher), and we are doing more laundry in general with her stuff, and all of our stuff. So we can't blame the slight increase just on diapers.

So there you have it. The actual cost of cloth diapering!

Cloth Diaper Review Continued...BumGenius 4.0

AKA my favourite cloth diaper.

If you've done any research at all out there on cloth diapering BumGenius will most likely pop up quite a bit during your research. They have been around for years, and they make an awesome diaper. They are a pocket diaper just like the Happy Heiny's but they are just....better. The PUL is super soft, they adjust great around the waist without the same overlap thickness at the waist like the HH's. They have a flap a the back of the diaper to prevent having to fiddle with the back waist band to prevent the wet band at the back if you don't keep the fleece down far enough. The list goes on and on.

I started out with two of the snap versions of this diaper.

I really don't know how to start with these diapers. They are my favourite, they are also my mother's favourite. Andre really hasn't expressed a favourite, he just uses what cloth diapers are there and changes Emilie's bum. They are super absorbent. I have used these diapers for both daytime, and nighttime, with no leaks. This is really good since Emilie will routinely sleep for 8-10 hour stretches at night.

Out of all three of the diapers, the BG insterts are the thinnest, making this the trimmest diaper out of all three that I have chosen. This is also great when they are in the dryer since it takes less time for them to dry. Maybe in the summer I will line dry them and see if they don't get too crunchy drying that way.

Since my initial purchase of two diapers I have purchased an additional 6 diapers, three with aplix (velcro) closure, and 3 more with snaps. The laundry tabs on the aplix diapers are great and not once have they come undone in the wash which is more than I can say for the HH's laundry tabs. I do plan on purchasing some more BG diapers, to hopefully bring my stash of these diapers up to 18 or so. I just have to decide whether or not I am going to keep, or sell the BB diapers.

Bottom Line for BumGenius 4.0: Awesome diaper! Well worth the investment. I do not have one complaint about these diapers. They are great for daytime and nighttime use, with no leaks or blow outs. They are trim, soft, and look so cute on our little girl! I just wish I had more of these diapers!

Cloth Diaper Review Continued...Happy Heiny's

It's been a little longer than I thought getting back to my review, but well, life got in the way!

Second on my list of cloth diapers in my stash is Happy Heiny's. These are also great diapers. Actually, all of the diapers in my stash are great diapers for the most part, I've been very lucky. These diapers are a different type of diapers than the Best Bottom Diapers. These are a pocket diaper. Just like it says, you stuff the insert into the pocket in the diaper. This is how you control the absorbency of the diapers.



Happy Heiny's diapers. One size on left, sized diapers on right.



I have two different types of Happy Heiny's diapers. First their original Happy Heiny's sized diapers. Meaning they come in sizes. I had two size small, one size medium, and one size large. I got them half price on a bargain website.

These sized diapers have been the only cloth diaper from the stash that has leaked. I just cannot get them small enough on our little girl. They differ from the one size diapers in that they do not have tabs that cross over in the front to make them just that little bit smaller. Because of this I just don't use these diapers anymore, I just hate the leaking. Now, on their website you can request (for no additional charge) the cross over tabs to solve this leaking problem. If you were to buy the sized diapers I would opt for that for the added size adjustments. But why go for sized diapers when you can buy One Size?!

I also had two One Size Pocket Diapers from Happy Heiny's. They are my second favourite diaper in the stash. The PUL is soft, they are less bulky than the Best Bottom Diapers, and they adjust really well in the waist. They come in a bunch of solid colours and absolutely adorable prints. I have one in their hook and loop closure, and one in snaps. I don't like their hook and loop. I always remember to fasten the laundry tabs, and it never fails it always comes undone, and has snagged another one of my diapers. For this reason I have catches on my Best Bottom shells. The snaps solves this problem.

One of the unique things about the HH's diapers is how their tabs cross over. The plus is that they are uber adjustable, and get nice and snug around E's waist. The downside is that when it's crossed over there's an extra layer of fabric across E's belly that sticks out and looks odd. You win some, you lose some. Another thing with the HH's diapers is that you have to make sure when you're done putting on the diaper that none of the fleece inside cover is sticking up over the PUL at the back, if it is when your LO goes for a pee you will get a wet line across their back from the moisture. Small detail, but if you don't remember you will be changing more clothes than you need to. This happens more to Andre than to me.

Bottom Line for Happy Heiny's: Great diaper for the money. They are a little more reasonable than the BumGenius Diapers. The inside fleece lining is super soft, they are easy to stuff. They are a trim diaper, and they adjust very easily for sizing. This definitely comes in handy with a leaner baby. The snaps are better since the laundry tabs on the velcro ones are crap.

Cloth Diaper Confusion no more!

So way back in September, which now seems like a different lifetime ago, I wrote about my confusion about all things cloth diaper related. I did a ton of research, nearly driving poor Andre insane, and decided to purchase a few different brands to try out, and then go from there. I also contemplated doing a cloth diaper trial from a more local store, but couldn't resist the pull of fluffy mail. I even went as far as to buy a cloth wipes kit from Baby Steals. Thank goodness I actually like the cloth wipes!

After all that research I ended up with three different brands to try: BumGenius 4.0, Happy Heiny's, and Best Bottom diapers.  BG's and HH's are both one size pocket diapers, and BB's are one size All in two (AI2) diapers. Now anyone who has done even just the teeniest of research on cloth diapering has heard of BG diapers. They are very well known and loved by a ton of cloth diapering moms out there. One of the newer diapers on the scene were the BB diapers. Everyone loved that you could reuse the covers and just snap in a new liner. After talking to a friend of mine who had used them I decided that I too had to try them. The other diaper, the HH's are also well known, very similar to the BG's, but more reasonably priced.

So here was the run down on my cloth diaper stash:

First off on the list, Best Bottom Diapers:

BestBottom Diapers

I started out with 4 one size Best Bottom covers, 3 with snaps, and one with aplix (velcro), and 12 Stay Dry (microfibre and fleece) inserts in size Small.

I really like these diapers, and these are Andre's favourites. The obvious pluses of these diapers is when your LO messes the diaper if nothing gets on the shell (like with a pee) you just wipe or air dry the shell, and then snap in another liner and reuse it! With four shells and the liners, just these diapers could last one whole day as long as Emilie didn't get poop on the shell. I have to tell you that even with liners poop usually gets on the shell, so with a #2 you will most likely have to toss the shell in the wash. They adjust super small at the waist, so even at just 5 weeks old they fit Emilie great, at this time she was around 8.5lbs, so at the same weight they say the diaper will start to fit your LO.

They are also a trimmer diaper, but the least trim of all three of the diapers. I think the reason for this is the thickness of the Stay Dry inserts. I'm sure the Hemp would be a little more trim, but I haven't tried them out to know for sure. Also the PUL (the waterproof and cute shell) is the most "hard" of all three diapers. It's just not as soft, which you can feel through the clothing.

We have had no leaks with these diapers. The leg and front and back gussets are fabulous, and have kept all of the messes in the diaper, which is a huge plus.

The bottom line with these diapers: Great diapers. I would recommend them to anyone trying cloth diapering. I think one of the best diapers for travelling with your LO, and you can just throw in a couple shells and then just bring a bunch of inserts. For anyone buying in Canada, they are a pain. I had to order directly from Nicki's Diapers in the States, I couldn't find anyone in Canada that was selling them. I don't know whether this has changed since I purchased them last year.

Well, Little Miss is now up from her nap, so you'll all have to wait for the review of the Happy Heiny's and BumGenius!

Happy Easter!

Time is passing by at lightening speed lately it seems. Everyone always said it would once our LO was born, and they are very right. Easter Sunday will mark 7 weeks since our little Emilie was born. It's been a roller coaster of a ride that's for sure!

I couldn't resist these bunny ears when I was out picking up some ingredients for some Easter cookies (which I will hopefully blog about at a later date). My little Emilie was a good sport when I had to snap some pictures to share with you all.

So Happy Easter from our home to yours!

Introducing...

Emilie Helen!

I have a few minutes to post before we have to rouse our little angel for her next feed so I thought I would fill you all in our new arrival! She was born at 38.5wks after an induction (definitely more on that at a later date). I was induced last week on Saturday March 5th, which just happened to be my 32nd birthday, and she was born at 2:34pm on Sunday March 6th.

She is everything that we prayed for and more. Not to say that this parenting business is not hard, because man, it is HARD, but when she looks at us with those beautiful big eyes, and gives me a gassy little grin when I'm ready to burst into tears for the second time that day everything was worth it. All the dildo cam visits, the failed Clomid cycles, the tears, the injections, everything was worth it to be able to hold my little girl.

My only prayer is for those out there that are still struggling to not give up hope, and that your dreams will come true as well.

So here are a couple pictures of our little girl:

Emilie Helen
March 6th 2011 at 2:34pm
7lbs, 9ozs
approx 19 inches long (they didn't measure her in the hospital I did)

Peanut's room is almost complete!

My last blog entry showed some preliminary pictures of little Peanut's bedroom. Well since then we have been hard at work. My goal for the bedroom was to have the furniture in there, and all the newborn, 0-3month, and 3-6 month clothes washed and put away before our shower on February 5th. My mother and I also managed to get some art hung on the walls as well, so it's really starting to look like a nursery. I'm really happy with the final results!

Here are some pictures I snapped of the nursery just this past weekend.

The view from the doorway of the room.

The crib. We're doing the "bare" crib thing for now, with just a fitted sheet. I had to show off the blanket that my grandmother made though, so it's hanging on the back.

Storage in the corner of the room. A basket with bibs and other little things. Then our stash of cloth diapers to try out (more on that later), our collection of receiving blankets most made by my grandmother, then some of our blanket collection. We have so many.



The change station. We're starting with disposable diapers, so the basket is stocked and ready to go.



What has to be the oldest item in the room. This picture was made by my great-grandmother Helen for my youngest sister Lise at least 20 years ago. Now it hangs above the dresser. It will be a little reminder of Peanut's namesake since her middle name will be Helen.



Right now we're still deciding on what we're going to put above the crib. We think we may have decided on something from the Uppercase Living Catalogue though. My parents have decided to buy us a glider for the nursery, so as soon as that arrives the crib will move down that wall farther from the window and we can then hang something on the wall. Until then we're just waiting on Peanut!





Peanut has a bedroom!

Right after Christmas we started with the big Peanut related purchasing. Andre's parents had been very generous with us this year starting with a cash gift for our Anniversary in September, and then another cash gift this Christmas. We decided that instead of using the money for something for the house, we would put it towards Peanut. So Boxing Day we actually went shopping and picked up the crib (Graco's Lauren crib), and then the following weekend we went out and purchased the dresser at The Brick.

The day the dresser arrived mother nature decided to co-operate with us (in a way) and start snowing, so what better way to spend the day then huddled up at home assembling a crib?! I have to say that I am so proud of Andre and I. We have a horrible track record of bitching and moaning while assembling furniture, but we were so great assembling this crib. Not one curse or negative word was uttered. We worked so well together!

We haven't finished the nursery completely, but we have a pretty good start I think. The only piece of furniture that we still have yet to put in the room is a glider. My mother has decided that she is going to purchase this for us.

Here is a before of the room after clearing everything out, and then a couple pictures of our furniture, before we cleared recycled all that cardboard (oh the cardboard!!):

We haven't put any bedding in the crib since we have a cat, and we didn't know what Mikey was going to do with the crib in the house. Thankfully he hasn't figured out how to jump into the crib, but that might change once there is a glider right next to it. We have some artwork for the walls, but I need to get some picture hooks first, and figure out exactly where we want the crib to go on the one wall. I think for safety reasons we might end up putting the glider in that corner and moving the crib farther along the wall towards the closet, who knows.

We still have 6-8 weeks to make those final decisions, and get a ceiling fan hung (sitting in the box next to the dresser), and purchase a blind for the room, and decide once and for all if we're keeping the current drapes. At least for now Peanut has a room, and a dresser full of clothes already, and we haven't even had a shower yet!